One of the last things that I did before leaving Mount Vernon was to visit one of the sweetest women that I have ever met with my good friend Caryl. We pulled up to her apartment, walked in and enjoyed talking to her about her many decades ministering at EBC, where her favorite plants were from, and what it was like to be diagnosed with caner. It was a very special afternoon.
As I drove back to the church I noticed a group of college girls running on the side of the road conditioning for some kind of sport and then it hit me. It wasn’t that long ago that this dear woman who I’d just visited was able to run and play with her own friends. It wasn’t that long ago that the entire world seemed to be full of possibilities for her and adventure waited around every corner. It wasn’t that long ago that cancer was the furthest thing from her mind and yet today, just a few short decades later it’s probably one of the only things on her mind.
I guess what I’m saying is that this experience was a powerful reminder that “life is short!” It won’t be long before I begin to slow down myself, and it probably won’t be very long after that when God will call me home. And in a few short years there will be very few people who even remember my name. The Psalmist talks about this in Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” The point is that we only get so many days and before we know it life has passed us by, so the question is how am I going to spend these few days that the Lord has given me? The best place to start is probably in asking yourself, “How am I going to spend today in light of how short my life really is?”
I’m convinced that one of the reasons God gives us family is to teach us that we are not nearly as sanctified as we think. As I recall, before I married my wife I was almost completely sanctified. Then God gave me this wonderful gift called marriage and I suddenly realized that I was not nearly as holy as I once thought myself to be. It’s one thing to be sanctified when everyone in your family agrees with you (because you’re a family of one), but once you add another person to the mix it’s another story. After a few years of marriage Amy and I kind of figured each other out and resumed our positions of nearly perfect sanctification (or so we thought), until God gave us children…and life has never been the same.
The other day I was at home trying to get some work done when Micah completely lost it. We’ve always had a hard time with Micah when it comes to eating, but it seems that lately things have been especially difficult. He threw himself on the ground in a fit of rage and tears over the prospect of having to eat a bite of pizza (we have pretty low expectations of Micah right now when it comes to food, but pizza is where I draw the line). As I surveyed the situation I was honestly enraged. I immediately took Micah up to his room, disciplined him and slammed the door while he sat and thought about what he had just done to us.
One of the things that parenting has shown me is that I had no idea that I could become so angry over such small things. It’s not that Micah didn’t need to be disciplined, because he certainly did. But there is a big difference between disciplining out of anger over what’s been done and disciplining out of love and concern for the well being of your child. A few minutes later I went back into Micah’s room, apologized for my sin and asked his forgiveness for my anger.
James1:19-20 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.” At the heart of sinful anger is a demand to be right and a demand for other people to meet your standards of righteousness. That’s why James reminds us that “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.” You see in the end it doesn’t matter if Micah lives up to my standards or not, what matters is that he lives up to God’s standards which have already been met in Christ who took upon Himself the just wrath of His Father for sin. My job in parenting is not to hold Micah accountable to my standards, but rather to point him to his need of a Savior who has already satisfied the Father’s standards of perfect righteousness and then to rest in that righteousness which comes by faith.
The other day Amy and I took Micah to a Junior High bowling event. We had taken him to this kind of event before and knew that he loves to line the ball up (on the little ramp they give him), push the ball down and watch the pins fall. However, this time things were different for Micah.
It was probably due to the fact that he was overly tired from a late bedtime the night before, and probably overly stimulated by all of the sites, sounds and smells but bowling just didn’t give him the pleasure that we were expecting it to. He would cry about having to wait his turn while the other kids bowled, cry when the ball didn’t do what he wanted it to do, and cry when I tried to hold him in my lap so that we could watch together.
After about 20 minutes, we decided that this wasn’t going to be his night so I walked he and Amy out to the van, loaded them up and let her take him home. As I walked back toward the bowling alley with a heavy heart I couldn’t help but notice how hard Micah was fighting against joy and how heart broken I was that he didn’t get to experience the joy that I’d intended for him that evening. Rather than trusting his Dad to lead him into experiences that would maximize his joy, he was trusting in his own four year old wisdom to get what he wanted and it made him miserable.
You don’t have to be a theologian to see the parallel to the Christian life here. I too fight against the joy that my Father intends for me. I tend to trust my own wisdom above His. I try and do things my way, in my own strength but every time it only leads to sorrow and anxiety.
As I thought about my son I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” If I want joy in my life, it begins with trusting God to bring me joy and not fighting against His joy by pursuing my own paths.
Five years ago Amy and I loaded up my little Chevy Cavalier and made our way up I-5 past Seattle to Mount Vernon, WA. We didn’t really know what to expect in our new adventure, but we were excited and anxious all at the same time. What we found was a loving church who embraced us, loved on us and our growing family and cared for us.
I am so thankful for my experiences at Emmanuel Baptist Church. I’m thankful for those whom I was overjoyed to marry here and those whom I was heart broken to bury here. I’m thankful for the faithful women who helped watch our kids so Amy and I could do ministry together. I’m thankful for our home group (we have the BEST home group) who has walked so faithfully beside us these last few years. I’m thankful for the Youth Staff and all of the good times that we’ve shared (endless trips to Seattle, late night counseling, late night movies, heartaches from broken kids and broken families). I also have the BEST youth staff! I’m extremely thankful for my faithful friend and secretary Caryl Burroughs and all of the time that we have gotten to spend together. She has been a rock of encouragement to me and one of God’s greatest blessings in my life during these five years.
Today I am packing up a U-Haul, my van, and my little Honda Civic and starting out on a new adventure in Cool, CA. Just like last time, I’m excited for what the future will hold and for the opportunity to shepherd the heart of a new congregation. I look forward to our friends coming and visiting us in Cool, as well as us coming back to visit Emmanuel.
If you’re interested in staying in touch with Amy and me here are a couple of good ways to do so.
iTunes Podcast – That’s right starting on June 20th, the Cool Church podcast will be the home of all of my sermons. You can subscribe in iTunes by following this link, or you can go to the Cool Church Media Player to listen online by following this link.
Amy’s Blog – Amy will be keeping up her blog with pictures of the kids, etc. so be sure to stop by and watch them grow.
Shepherds Notes – I, of course, will continue blogging here at Shepherd’s Notes, thanks to my good friend John Moody for hosting this for me.
Facebook – You can still find me on facebook to catch up with all of my shenanigans
Tumbr – This is a blog where I collect random videos, quotes, etc. from around the web. Feel free to stop by and see what I’ve been reading/watching lately.
As I’ve said before this parting is bitter-sweet for us. We are excited about what God is doing and where He is leading us, but at the same time we have a real sense of sadness as we leave our beloved church family here at Emmanuel. Both Amy and I look forward to hearing from you in the future and hopefully if you’re ever in Cool, CA you’ll give us a call and drop by.
I was reminded this morning of a spiritual discipline that I often forget, the discipline of looking back. I tend to live my life in the immediate here and now, which I suppose is good in some ways, but in other ways my myopic view of my life tends to keep me trapped in the present. There is great value in looking to the past and remembering the faithfulness of God in all of life’s paths. Here are a few of the things that come to mind when I think of God’s faithfulness over the course of my life.
Allowing me to attend the Master’s College and to learn the Bible.
Giving me a wife that is far better than I deserve.
Giving me three wonderful kids who daily teach me my need of grace.
Bringing me to Emmanuel Baptist Church and sustaining me here these past five years.
Leading me to Cool Church and preparing my heart for this new ministry.
Allowing me to attend the Master’s Seminary and to have godly men pour their lives into me.
Providing godly Christian parents who love me and taught me how to love Jesus.
Giving me good friends who challenge me and who genuinely care for me.
Placing me in a Youth Ministry when I was younger that patiently worked with me and taught me how to have a servant’s heart.
Letting me serve at PMC Church and assigning Pastor Ray to care for me and to train me in the ministry.
Here’s a quote from F. Whitfield on looking back.
Consider how great things he hath done for you. 1 Sam. 12:24
Look back on all the way the Lord your God has led you. Do you not see it dotted with ten thousand blessings in disguise? Call to mind the needed succor sent at the critical moment: the right way chosen for you, instead of the wrong way you had chosen for yourself; the hurtful thing to which your heart so fondly clung, removed out of your path; the breathing-time granted, which your tried and struggling spirit just at the moment needed. Oh, has not Jesus stood at your side when you knew it not? Has not Infinite Love encircled every event with its everlasting arms, and gilded every cloud with its merciful lining? Oh, retrace your steps, and mark His footprint in each one! Thank Him for them all, and learn the needed lesson of leaning more simply on Jesus.
This is kind of a random post since it doesn’t really have anything to do with the church, or shepherding or anything specifically spiritual at all. Rather, I’d like to point out a tool that I’ve been using a lot lately that has simplified my life and helped to keep me more organized. The tool is Evernote.
Evernote’s CEO Phil Libin describes Evernote as your “external brain.” It’s essentially a place where you can store all of the random information that you find tucked away in your normal brain, or on the internet, or on a restaurant napkin, or wherever. If you’re like me, you probably have a lot of things going on in your life and a lot of information to manage in relation to those things. What evernote does is gives you a way to catalog that information in a searchable format so that you can access it quickly, rather than having it take up space in your brain. Here are a few examples of how I use evernote.
Getting Things Done. A few weeks ago I wrote a review on the book Getting Things Done by David Allen. Evernote is one the key tools I use for that system. Inside of Evernote I have a folder called “Inbox” (which is my default folder). Anything that I put into Evernote automatically goes into this folder, which I clear out every day. So, whenever I have a good idea or remember a task that I’m supposed to do, all I have to do is put it into Evernote and it’s there waiting for me whenever I get around to clearing out my inbox. I can put things into Evernote by opening the program and typing into it, by sending a simple e-mail or text message to my Evernote account, or by using the excellent app on my iPhone. The point is that because of Evernote I’m able to capture all of my ideas, tasks, etc. into one central location and process them in due course.
Keeping Random Information. Another great use of Evernote is for keeping all kinds of random information. Evernote lets you set up folders in which to keep information. I have a “Personal” folder where I keep all kinds of random information about my life that I know I’ll want to be able to access at some point. Without Evernote most of this information was scattered in various drawers, sticky notes, and gum wrappers, now I have it all in one place. Here are a few examples of the information that I keep in Evernote for easy access:
Manuals for children’s toys, etc.
Various warranties for electronics, watches, etc.
Information on refills for ink cartridges, labeler refills, etc.
The birthdates of my nieces and nephews.
Battery types for kids toys.
Vehicle license plate and vin numbers.
Phone numbers for credit card companies in case I ever lose my wallet and need to call and cancel cards.
Serial numbers for electronics, etc. for insurance purposes.
My contact lens prescriptions for ordering refills.
All of the software license codes for my computers.
Passwords for websites that I’ve joined, etc.
Online Articles that I want to remember. There’s a lot of good information on the internet for pastors to use. When I find something worth keeping (whether it be a book review, blog post, sermon illustration, etc.) I put it into evernote for safe keeping and later access.
Seminary Notes. I keep all of my seminary notes in Evernote, which makes them all searchable, so that I can find that nugget of information that I know I heard in seminary but can’t remember what class it was in.
Videos. Using Firefox I can download videos from youtube that are especially helpful and archive them in Evernote for later use in Sunday School, etc.
Wishlists. Every Christmas I have the worst time trying to figure out what to get for Amy. With Evernote I’ve created a folder to keep any gift ideas that I get throughout the year, which allows me to have a pool of ideas for gift giving.
Scanning Documents into Evernote. This is one that I haven’t got to use yet, but Lexmark just came out with a way to use their scanner to scan documents directly into Evernote. I usually add a lot of handwritten notes to my sermons before and after I preach them, with this new scanning ability I’ll be able to digitally archive those notes and thanks to Evernote all of my handwritten notes will be word searchable!
One of the best things about Evernote is that it’s completely free! Anyone can signup for a free account and start using it right away. If you have a mobile device, like a Blackberry or iPhone it becomes even more useful because you can take all of your notes with you to go.
Here are a few more web resources that I’ve used for increasing my skill with Evernote.
The Evernote Blog is a great place to find tips, hints, etc. for using Evernote.
I actually went back and listened to every single episode of the Evernote Podcast, which was pretty entertaining and very helpful for getting the most out of Evernote.
Finally, here’s a video extolling the wonders of Evernote:
The other day I got a call from our Real Estate agent with some bad news. Prices in the area are continuing to drop in the worst real-estate market since the 1960’s, so we had to drop the price of our home by another $10,000. This wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the fact that we had already priced the house $15,000 under what we’d actually paid for it. The good news is that when we bought our home we put a lot of money down, the bad news is that we’re almost certainly going to lose it all…assuming that we can sell the house at all.
I’ve known for quite some time that this is a pretty bad market, so it’s not as though all of this comes as a surprise to me, but somehow that doesn’t make it any easier. Last week, after having our home on the market for over a month without a single person coming to look at it,, I began to get nervous. What if the house doesn’t sell by the time we need to move? Do I rent it out? Where do I find renters? What if the market continues to drop and 2 years from now I’m in a worse position than I am today?
If you’ve ever been in what feels like a desperate situation, you know that questions like these can make you feel as though the walls are closing in around you. You begin to theorize and strategize and to frantically search for any means of escape or redemption.
These feelings aren’t limited to financial situations, they can be equally true of the mother struggling with a disobedient child who only wants him to obey, or of the pastor struggling with a critical church member who only wants to have a church business meeting without any fights, or of the business owner who only wants to see the economy turn around so that he can stay in business. What they all have in common is the passionate desire for some kind of redemption from difficult circumstances.
What I’ve come to realize is that the great danger in these moments is not that God will not deliver me, but rather that I begin to desire redemption from my circumstances more than I desire the Redeemer. In other words, the danger is an attitude that says, “You can tell me about Jesus having the answer to my problems all day long, but what I really need is…”. The reason that this attitude is so dangerous is that it functionally denies the sufficiency of Christ and replaces my need for Christ with my need for deliverance from a set of circumstances. In the midst of hard things, the only proper response is to trust.
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19a)
The issue that is at stake when God asks you if you trust Him, is if you desire the Redeemer more than you desire redemption from your circumstances.
1979 was a big year for a lot of reasons. In 1979 George and Donna Buell gave birth to their first son (me). In 1979 a man named Ed Kelley began a life calling of working in Youth Ministry. In 1979 a small church in Cool, CA was established where God has recently called me to minister.
The following video is a conversation between myself and my old Youth Pastor Ed Kelley about transitions, specifically about Ed’s transition to his current church in Federal Way and my upcoming transition to Cool Community Church.
One of the last things that I did before leaving Mount Vernon was to visit one of the sweetest women that I have ever met with my good friend Caryl. We pulled up to her apartment, walked in and enjoyed talking to her about her many decades ministering at EBC, where her favorite plants were from, and what it was like to be diagnosed with caner. It was a very special afternoon.
