Scott Smith has a great collection of sayings at the gospel coalitions website from John Witherspoon (1768-1794) on raising children. Here are a few of my favorites.
1. The best exercise in the world for children is to let them romp and jump about, as soon as they are able, according to their own fancy.
2. A parent that has once obtained and knows how to preserve authority will do more by a look of displeasure, than another by the most passionate words and even blows. It holds universally in families and schools, and even the greater bodies of men, the army and navy, that those who keep the strictest discipline give the fewest strokes.
3. There is not a more disgusting sight than the impotent rage of a parent who has no authority.
6. Let it always be seen that you are more displeased at sin than at folly.
7. Nothing is more destructive of authority than frequent disputes and chiding upon small matters. This is often more irksome to children than parents are aware of.
You can read the rest here.
HT: Challies
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April 29 2013 | Blog | No Comments »
Dear Micah,
I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you! Over the course of 2012 it was my privilege to watch you grow in so many ways. You’ve grown much taller; if the charts are right than you will easily pass me up in height when you are a teenager. Your speech has also grown dramatically. At the beginning of the year you were able to say a few basic things but today we are holding full blown conversations together. I have noticed you reasoning things out with me and I’ve been especially blessed by the kind words you so often speak to your brothers.
While much has changed for you in 2012, there is one thing that still remains true. Micah, you 
are a great sinner but Christ is a great savior. In many ways this is the essence of the unchanging gospel. It is a recognition of who God is as the good Creator and Savior of mankind and who we are as sinners in desperate need of help. I have been so encouraged by your growing understanding of this message in recent months. Just the other day you were telling me all about how Jesus came and died to save us from our sins. While I don’t think you quite understand all of what this means, my greatest prayer for you this year is that you would come to know Jesus in a personal way and be saved to a life of joy in Him.
2012 was full of many memorable events for us as a family. Several of our friends from Mt. Vernon came to visit with us and to take a trip up to Lake Tahoe. You and Cody went down to Grandma and Nana’s houses for a few weeks this summer and had a wonderful time. Nana and Granddaddy took you to Chick-fil-A as many times as they could and Grandma took you to a water park that apparently had an octopus, which you keep telling me about 
. You had a great time at VBS and have started another year of Awana as a Sparky. Oh, and who could forget your Auntie Apryl who put in a pool this summer that I think we visited at least a couple of times a week.
Every night I come in to your room, kiss your head and pronounce a blessing over you. I say, “The Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you peace.” What I want to tell you today, on your birthday, is that the only way that you will ever know this kind of peace is when you come to know the Prince of Peace and His name is Jesus.
I Love You with All My Heart,
Daddy
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January 13 2013 | Blog | 2 Comments »
This is a 20 minute video of a conversation between Paul Tripp and Elise Fitzpatrick on how grace changes relationships, most of the conversation revolves around parenting. This was one of the most helpful videos that I’ve ever watched about parenting! It has been formative in my thinking about how I can be a better Dad. I can’t recommend it strongly enough.
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August 10 2012 | Blog | No Comments »
I resonated with each and every one of these 10 items from Dan Darling’s blog.
1) You are much less patient than you think you are.
2) Many times you’ll have no clue what to do.
3) You’ll realize that minivans are secretly awesome.
4) You’ll probably not get six continuous hours of good sleep ever again.
5) There are singular moments of joy so indescribable they can only be experienced.
6) Your presence is more important than you know.
7) You need to repeat the same words over and over to your children.
8) You will watch less of your favorite games, play less video games, and will go out with your guys friends hardly at all.
9) You will embrace your cluelessness as a gift from God.
10) You will realize your ongoing need to repent, confess, and apologize and forgive.
HT: Vitamin Z
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June 08 2012 | Blog | No Comments »
Russell Moore has a must read article over on the Desiring God blog about the loss of an entire generation of young men to porn and video games. Here’s an excerpt:
There’s a key difference between porn and gaming. Pornography can’t be consumed in moderation because it is, by definition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long.
Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core…
Satan isn’t a creator but a plagiarist. His power is parasitic, latching on to good impulses and directing them toward his own purpose. God intends a man to feel the wildness of sexuality, in the self-giving union with his wife. And a man is meant to, when necessary, fight for his family, his people, for the weak and vulnerable who are being oppressed.
The drive to the ecstasy of just love and to the valor of just war are gospel matters. The sexual union pictures the cosmic mystery of the union of Christ and his church. The call to fight is grounded in a God who protects his people, a Shepherd Christ who grabs his sheep from the jaws of the wolves….
The porn addict becomes a lecherous loser, with one-flesh union supplanted by masturbatory isolation. The video game addict becomes a pugilistic coward, with other-protecting courage supplanted by aggression with no chance of losing one’s life. In both cases, one seeks the sensation of being a real lover or a real fighter, but venting one’s reproductive or adrenal glands over pixilated images, not flesh and blood for which one is responsible.
HT: Justin Taylor
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June 06 2012 | Blog | No Comments »
This made me pause and really start to think about my parenting today, it’s worth 3 minutes to hear what Julie has to say.
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February 06 2012 | Blog | No Comments »
Great post here from Rick Holland. Here’s an excerpt:
If you are a parent who longs to see your children walk with God or a someone who wants to influence your friends and family, there is a helpful pattern for us to follow in Romans 2:4. Paul writes:
Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?
The second chapter of Romans begins with a confrontation regarding being more ready to judge others, including God, before oneself. In verse 4 Paul asks if judgmental spirit has cloaked our understanding of and experience with the gospel. God has demonstrated kindness, tolerance, and patience toward us. And here in the second part of the verse we meet a remarkable principle.
It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Notice that it is God’s attitude, His disposition, which motivates us to change. God motivates us with kindness.
Think of the implications of imitating this attribute of God as we parent our children and try to influence others. Another way to say it is, “You can’t bad-attitude someone into a good attitude.”
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January 24 2012 | Blog | No Comments »
Barnabas Piper:
I find myself tempted to put the burden of my happiness on the shoulders of my children every day, and I know this is the case by how often I react to their failures and sins as if they have stopped me from achieving happiness. My aim needs to be to help them learn where real happiness lies by carrying them there. That is, I must model the easy yoke and light burden of Jesus and take my children to Him as the source of happiness.
HT: Vitamin Z
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January 18 2012 | Blog | 1 Comment »
CCEF
The Apostle Paul wrote, “Continue in what you have learned and become convinced of” (2 Timothy 3:14) because he knew some who had not continued.
We share his concerns. We share them especially for our children as they become increasingly independent. Statistics vary widely but one thing is clear, many children who were raised in Christian homes leave the faith they once professed.
We can’t make our children continue in the faith, but we aren’t left anxious and passive. We can give our children the privilege of being in a family where they are taught about, participate in, and witness life with Jesus.
Things you can do…
Here is a possible check-list for parents. No doubt, conversations with like-minded parents would add more.
- Enjoy your children. Followers of Jesus Christ enjoy the Lord and enjoy one another. You can enjoy your children by always scanning for the good—the ways they reflect something of their Creator.
- Look for opportunities to show humility, especially as children get older. “Will you forgive me?” continues to be one of the most powerful evidences that Jesus is alive and the Spirit has been given.
- Identify the essentials of the faith. For example, everything that is important comes out of Christ and him crucified. Talk about this: “What’s the big deal with the death and resurrection of Jesus?” We want to answer that in our own words, and we want to answer it so our neighbor could understand it.
- Follow the apostles’ strategy for biblical interpretation—everything is about Jesus. Not only was Jesus the focus of all their understanding of Scripture, he was also the way of change—all true change goes through him. Over the course of a few months in your home, would a bystander observe that you are talking about a person or talking about rules that seem unrelated to a person?
- Discuss our curious historical moment. Jesus has come and his promises are certain, yet suffering and shame persist. We can know joy and peace, yet, since we follow the Suffering Servant, we expect to face lots of difficulties (more on this below).
- Go big. Scripture is a story in cosmic terms with allegiances, powers, rescues, all on a huge scale. “Accept Jesus in your heart” is much too tame. The King of creation has spoken to us in Jesus. Once you know him you will want to say, “Jesus, I am with you. You are my Lord.”
Remember too, to teach about sin…and suffering
To these I would add—teach about sin; it’s very important. Do we all have a clear understanding of the human heart, and with it, a growing knowledge of sin? Sin, after all, is our biggest problem, and only a growing awareness of sin can lead us into humility before our King. And this is important too: conversations about sin must aim to be sweet. Though sin is not a good thing, we are greatly blessed when we are able to see it more clearly in our lives, are led away from it, and can enjoy forgiveness of sins.
And prepare them for suffering. A world filled with sinners leads to much suffering and many leave the faith because of it. They think God isn’t fair because he allows so much misery. The best preparation for the hard things we all face is the confession that we are sinners who have been rescued by his grace alone. This may seem like an odd way to prepare but when we humbly bow before the will of the Suffering Servant and trust him with gratitude, we will come to know that suffering will not have the final word.
My observation is that many people leave the faith because (1) they are angry that God brought misery into their lives or the life of a loved one, or (2) they simply want to do things that Scripture forbids, which often has something to do with sex, and it is too hard to simultaneously persist in sin and learn about Jesus.
The gospel of Jesus Christ reaches both of these.
Lord God, allow us to continue in the great grace we have received.
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November 16 2011 | Blog | 1 Comment »
The other day I heard my middle child, Cody, say something that I hadn’t heard him say before. As he was sitting down on the couch, he said “Daddy, I need my stuff.” Somewhat bewildered I looked at my wife inquisitively as she proceeded to give him his blanket, two Barbie dolls (yes that kills me, but he does love these silly dolls), a stuffed bear, a stuffed dog, a small sword and a glass of apple juice. Not quite knowing what to think, I turned back to my iPad and let the moment pass me by.
I hadn’t really thought about this again, until last night when Cody and I had a horrible argument about his “stuff.” Amy was gone and it was just me and the boys at home. So, like any good Dad I decided to put on a movie. Just as Curious George 2 was getting started Cody began to grumble and complain that he didn’t have his “stuff.” Sensing where this was going, I began assembling what I could remember of the “stuff” that Amy had given him, but unfortunately I was too late and I quickly had a full fledged tantrum on my hands. Again, as any good Dad I followed my instincts and sent him up to his room…but then I started thinking about what was really going on in his heart and decided to give it one more try.
I made my way up the stairs, opened his door and in between sobs I asked him to come sit in my lap. When he finally calmed down I told him, “Cody, you know that Daddy loves you don’t you? Daddy loves you and that’s why Daddy is so worried that you love your stuff so much. I think that you love your stuff more than you love your Daddy, but I want you to love me more than you love your stuff.” Now, I’m not sure how much of that actually got through to him, but as I sit here tonight reflecting on this little incident I know that I’m feeling freshly convicted that I need to love my Heavenly Father far more than I love the “stuff” that He gives to me.
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October 19 2011 | Devotional | 2 Comments »
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