Husbands must be aware of two main sinful tendencies. One sinful response of a person in the position of headship is to abuse that position by being heavy-handed, mean-spirited, harsh, and demanding in unloving and selfish ways. God has not given men this authority in our homes for the purpose of gratifying our own pleasures and exploiting the opportunity for our ease and comfort. Rather, such authority must be exercised out of benevolence. A position of headship must be used to promote healing, life, restoration, growth, prospering, and joy.
A second sinful response to our position of headship, though, is far more insidious yet far less obvious. We may respond to God’s call to exert leadership in our homes by abdicating our responsibility. We are not mean-spirited; rather, we’re just no there. We are apathetic, distant, often absent, and altogether uninterested and uninvolved in the spiritual direction of our wives and children. The harm we inflict on our homes through such apathy and uninvolvement can be as painful and wounding as the harm inflicted through heavy-handed selfishness. Here, our wives wilt before our eyes, and our children grow distant as they become more and more attached to peers in a quest for the love, affection, and leadership they lack from their fathers. In both cases, though, husbands and fathers have lost sight altogether of what true biblical headship is to mean for our homes. – Bruce Ware, Father, Son and Holy Spirit
I love all thing “manly” and this is definitely a manly advertisement from Dockers. I like this so much, I might just go out and buy a pair to support them.
This came direclty from Justin Taylor’s blog and is one of the best descriptions of fatherhood that I have ever read.
Andrew Peach has an excellent post at First Things’s On the Square blog. Don’t be put off by the philosophical formulation of the problem (if you’re not used to reading such things). Here, for example, is some practical payoff:
Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.
But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.
Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.Read the whole thing.
Last November I was assigned with the annual task of carving our family turkey. I’ve performed this task several times, but always with terribly disappointing results (mangled pieces of turkey lying strewn all over a platter). This year I decided to take my turkey carving skills to the next level by checking the internet for advice. I was directed to an outstanding video that was created by a blog called “The Art of Manliness”. Being a man I decided to investigate this site a little further and have since come to greatly enjoy their writing. The posts cover a broad range of topics including how to grow a manly beard, a simple daily exercise routine, how to pack the perfect travel bag, etc. I should mention that this is not a Christian site, but thus far I have found their posts to be enjoyable reads and actually very helpful.
They have even put together a Guide to Manliness in 2008, which I would highly recommend for any man, but especially for young men who are wondering how to avoid being a “scallywag”. They cover topics such as cell phone etiquette, proper tipping, and even the proper use of facebook. You can get a free copy of the Guide to Manliness in 2008 by signing up for their RSS or by clicking on this link (it looks like their having a problem with their RSS Feed providing the link, so I’m giving it here). They also have a free man’s cookbook, which I have yet to try but am confident will turn out to be well a good resource. So, check out http://artofmanliness.com and let me know what you thin.
Theodore Roosevelt was known for being a fighter. He held his beliefs passionately and fought for them. The following is a quote from him in praise of “The Man in the Arena”.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt
The following is taken from an essay written by James Freeman Clarke in 1886 on the topic of True and False Manliness. Thanks to theThe Art of Manlinessblog for turning me on to this essay.
By manly qualities the world is carried forward. The manly spirit shows itself in enterprise, the love of meeting difficulties and overcoming them, — the resolution which will not yield, which patiently perseveres, and does not admit the possibility of defeat. It enjoys hard toil, rejoices in stern labor, is ready to make sacrifices, to suffer and bear disaster patiently. It is generous, giving itself to a good cause not its own ; it is public-spirited, devoting itself to the general good with no expectation of reward. It is ready to defend unpopular truth, to stand by those who are wronged, to uphold the weak. Having resolved, it does not go back, but holds on, through good report and evil, sure that the right must win at last. And so it causes truth to prevail, and keeps up the standard of a noble purpose in the world.
But as most good things have their counterfeits, so there is false manliness which imitates these great qualities, though at heart it is without them. Instead of strength of will, it is only willful; in place of courage, it has audacity. True manliness does what it believes right; false manliness, does what it chooses to do. Freedom, to one, means following his own convictions of truth; to the other it means thinking as he pleases, and doing as he likes. The one is reverent, the other rude; one is courteous, the other overbearing ; one is brave, the other foolhardy; one is modest, the other self-asserting. False manliness is cynical, contemptuous, and tyrannical to inferiors. The true man has respect for all men, is tender to the sufferer, is modest and kind. The good type uses its strength to maintain good customs, to improve the social condition, to defend order. The other imagines it to be manly to defy law, to be independent of the opinions of the wise, to sneer at moral obligation, to consider itself superior to the established principles of mankind.
All boys wish to be manly; but they often try to become so by copying the vices of men rather than their virtues. They see men drinking, smoking, swearing; so these poor little fellows sedulously imitate such bad habits, thinking they are making themselves more like men. They mistake rudeness for strength, disrespect to parents for independence. They read wretched stories about boy brigands and boy detectives, and fancy themselves heroes when they break the laws, and become troublesome and mischievous. Out of such false influences the criminal classes are recruited. Many a little boy who only wishes to be manly, becomes corrupted and debased by the bad examples around him and the bad literature which he reads. The cure for this is to give him good books that show him truly noble examples from life and history, and make him understand how infinitely above this mock-manliness is the true courage which ennobles human nature.
The amazing variability in beard-growing ability is just one of the mysteries of the beard. The beard is a gift and gifts differ among men. Those who have the gift of the beard should share that gift by growing the beard for all to see.
I am the designated turkey carver in our home, so this year I decided to actually look up how you’re supposed to carve a turkey. I found this very helpful article and this VERY HELPFUL video. Enjoy.
