Parenting and Fatherhood
I can not stop laughing at these two videos. Somehow by a strange twist of fate I have become this guy…ok, well maybe not entirely but there are a lot of similarities 
May 21 2010 | Blog | No Comments »
Two Great Temptations for Men
This quote hit me like a ton of bricks.
Husbands must be aware of two main sinful tendencies. One sinful response of a person in the position of headship is to abuse that position by being heavy-handed, mean-spirited, harsh, and demanding in unloving and selfish ways. God has not given men this authority in our homes for the purpose of gratifying our own pleasures and exploiting the opportunity for our ease and comfort. Rather, such authority must be exercised out of benevolence. A position of headship must be used to promote healing, life, restoration, growth, prospering, and joy.
A second sinful response to our position of headship, though, is far more insidious yet far less obvious. We may respond to God’s call to exert leadership in our homes by abdicating our responsibility. We are not mean-spirited; rather, we’re just no there. We are apathetic, distant, often absent, and altogether uninterested and uninvolved in the spiritual direction of our wives and children. The harm we inflict on our homes through such apathy and uninvolvement can be as painful and wounding as the harm inflicted through heavy-handed selfishness. Here, our wives wilt before our eyes, and our children grow distant as they become more and more attached to peers in a quest for the love, affection, and leadership they lack from their fathers. In both cases, though, husbands and fathers have lost sight altogether of what true biblical headship is to mean for our homes. – Bruce Ware, Father, Son and Holy Spirit
April 14 2010 | Blog | No Comments »
A Letter to His Son
This one made me cry this morning and remember how grateful I am for my three boys. The story gets even better, if you click through and read the rest of the letter.
Dear Jake,
It’s hard to believe that you are 17 years old today. I woke up this morning wondering what happened to that little red headed boy that used to sleep on my chest at night and ride around on my shoulders everywhere we went during the day.
It seems like only yesterday when your mom came to me with the news that you would be our son. You were so tiny. We named you Jacob, after the grandson of Abraham, the youngest son of Isaac in the Bible; the son who was born small, weak, and insignificant but who was nonetheless chosen by God to be a Patriarch of a nation.I still have the picture of you nestled inside of my old baseball glove wearing that miniature Cincinnati Reds baseball uniform. I didn’t have dreams of you actually becoming a patriarch, but I was sure you would grow up to be an All Star.
I can remember coming home from work late at night (actually early in the morning), just in time for your 2 AM feeding–getting you out of your crib, warming up a bottle and holding you all to my self. It was one of my favorite times of the day.
There in the peace of the morning, I was so content, just sitting in a dimly lit room watching you watch me–your eyes glued to mine–both of us speaking in deep, father-son conversation, without ever saying a word.As you lay there on my lap taking your bottle, I would fascinate over your tiny, perfect hands, your smooth white cheeks and your fine strawberry hair. I couldn’t believe that I was a dad and you were my son. I was twenty-five when you were born and it was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then, just after your first birthday, you got sick and had to spend a lot of time in the hospital. Your mom and I were young and scared and didn’t know what to do when you stopped breathing and had seizures. We spent that entire year in hospitals and doctors offices trying to figure out what was causing you to be so sick. No one could give us any answers. No one could help you get better. We cried a lot that year. It was one of the most difficult times of my life.
Then, just as we were about to give up, we found someone who could help. He picked us up off the floor of our hopelessness, held us up with His strong arms, wiped away our tears with His gentle hands, and healed your seizures with His mighty power. He changed our lives forever. His name is Jesus, and you know Him well–for it was you that introduced us to Him.
HT: Challies
April 13 2010 | Blog | No Comments »
Daddy & Christmas
Excellent post here from Mark Driscoll on Dads and Christmas.
Dad needs…
- a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?
- to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family. In Seattle it’s here.
- to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?
- to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?
- to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memories can you make this holiday season?
- to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?
- to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?
- to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?
- to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?
- to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?
- to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?
- to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?
- to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?
- to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?
- to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?
- to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?
December 10 2009 | Blog | No Comments »
God is a Good Father
Hudson Taylor, missionary to China, wrote the following in one of his journals.
I am taking my children with me, and I notice that it is not difficult for me to remember that the little ones need breakfast in the morning, dinner at midday, and something before they go to bed at night. Indeed I could not forget it. And I find it impossible to suppose that our heavenly Father is less tender or mindful than I…I do not believe that our heavenly Father will ever forget His children. I am a very poor father, but it is not my habit to forget my children. God is a very, very good Father. It is not His habit to forget His children.
August 24 2009 | Blog | No Comments »
Fatherhood
This came direclty from Justin Taylor’s blog and is one of the best descriptions of fatherhood that I have ever read.
Andrew Peach has an excellent post at First Things’s On the Square blog. Don’t be put off by the philosophical formulation of the problem (if you’re not used to reading such things). Here, for example, is some practical payoff:
Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.
But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.
Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.Read the whole thing.
June 19 2009 | Blog | No Comments »
What Role Do Fathers Play in Developing their Children’s Sexual Identity?
It’s almost impossible to overstate how important father’s are in the lives of their children. When I read the following statistics from the book “Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would” by Chad W. Thompson, I was strongly reminded of my need to invest into every aspect of my boys lives.
In a survey of 117 homosexual men the following was discovered:
- 86% spent little or no time with their fathers
- 50% believed their fathers did not love them
- 45% said their fathers humiliated them
- 44% were neglected by their fathers
April 02 2009 | Blog | No Comments »
Should I Be a Stay at Home Dad?
I have been tremendously blessed to have a wife who is thoroughly committed to staying at home with our children. Before Micah was born I had no idea what kind of sacrifice parenting would be and I especially did not know what it would mean for Amy, as she is the primary care giver, diaper changer, dinner maker, house cleaner, home maker, etc.
I think that’s one of the reasons why I appreciate this video from Mark Driscoll and his wife (Gracie) so much. The video is from a Q&A Session with Mark and Gracie where a question about being a stay-at-home-dad was asked by text message (how cool is that!). You can find the video here.
October 07 2008 | Blog | No Comments »
Glorifying the Father of the Fatherless
For some reason adoption has been on my mind a lot lately. I recently read a post on Desiring God by Jason Kovacs on adoption. Here’s an excerpt:
I encourage any of you who are praying about growing your family to consider adoption as a way of magnifying the “Father of the fatherless.”
And for those of you who aren’t called to adopt there many other ways to care for orphans such as foster-care, financially supporting those who are adopting, visiting orphanages, sponsoring a child, and praying.
You can find the entire post here.
The question will never be whether you should care for orphans. The question is how you will care for them and in doing so reflect the compassion of God for the least of these.
July 28 2008 | Blog | No Comments »