Mexico Update #22 – The Outhouse

Update: I wrote this post while we were in Mexico, but didn’t get the chance to post it down there. Ironically enough I woke up this morning from a nightmare of having to smell the outhouse. It was truly terrifying.
There’s really no way to adequately describe what it’s like to go to the bathroom here in San Carlos. It’s something of a mix between a Friday the 13th Horror Movie and coming home from a 2 week vacation to find that your freezer was unplugged and is now full of rancid meat.It all begins with one of the most terrifying moments that a human being can experience. It is that moment when you realize that nature is now calling and you just pulled back into the church parking lot. Nature could have been much kinder and called when you were at Wal-Mart, but sadly Nature is cruel and has chosen to wait and to let you leave your deposit here in San Carlos.

During my first excursion into the Outhouse I nearly suffocated from the fumes arising from the gaping abyss. Lately I have taken to wrapping my sweatshirt around my head several times in an attempt to create a vacuum seal around my nose. For those of you who are wondering, no this does not work.

The whole experience begins by creating a makeshift toilet cover out of several pieces of toilet paper. This process would normally be fairly easy, if it weren’t for the fact that the toilet paper roll has a wet streak across it and you’re not sure if it’s from the bleach that was used earlier this morning…or something else. The rest of the experience is a little blurry right now. It involves flailing arms, nearly passing out, praying that it will all end soon and finally resorting to breathing through the mouth. As my experience came to an end nature game me one final blessing, standing up I looked behind me just in time to see a cockroach scamper across my makeshift toilet cover.

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June 30 2008 06:32 pm | Blog

2 Responses to “Mexico Update #22 – The Outhouse”

  1. Buffi on 30 Jun 2008 at 7:12 pm #

    AhhHahahahahah, Drew, I’m sorry but this is one of the funniest mental images I’ve had in a while! I’m glad you sruvived.

    Most of us really are clueless as to how well we have it here in the good ‘ol USA, aren’t we? May we never complain about “nasty” gas station restrooms again!

  2. Buells on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:47 am #

    Yeah, I can totally picture you doing that. You aren’t really into germs…seeing how you won’t let Micah share any of your food! Maybe when you come back you will be ready to share a drink with our son!! Probably not…we still love you though!! Can’t wait to see you for a few minutes on Thursday….maybe I’ll bring Cody along too. He is being such a precious baby down here…his brother is doing well too…he just has his moments!